In the future everyone who doesn't flunk out of English class will be issued a blog so they have a place to complain about not making money. I would have my own blog, but then I would feel pressure to produce columns, and then I would start resenting my boss (which would be me), and start doing things to undermine the column. Finally I would have to fire myself, and then be totally relieved because I hated that damn job anyway but couldn't admit it to myself because I thought I needed the paycheck, but then realize that no paycheck (not even a nonexistent one) is worth it when you have to work for an asshole like that.
I like brown liquor, strong beer, barbeque, and brunettes. Also, you suck.