:Chloroform in Print
I want to go to the top of a really tall building, take a leak, finish, zip up, and then have my pee hit the ground. I want my entire pee to be airborne. Man I love beer.
Change is Inevitable (and radioactive)
After reading one too many blogs with the same stupid layout as this one formerly featured, I made the executive decision to go with a sprightly green variation, in honor of two of my favorite things: Spring, and nuclear waste.
Monkeys are People are Monkeys
Today is a good day to celebrate the Monkeyness that is Inside every one of us. Like other things people can't control and have difficulty accepting, such as German heritage, a propensity toward public flatulence, or incurable laziness, we must come to terms with what we can change and what we can not.
"I handed him the cigarette packet. He opened it, took out a cigarette, and put it between his lips. He then reached out his hand again and I gave him the matches; to my astonishment he took one out of the box, struck it, lit the cigarette, and threw the box down on the table."GERALD DURRELL, THE NEW NOAH, 1972 "The males from the larger band of chimpanzees began to make trips south to the patch of land occupied by the splinter unit. The marauders' purpose was simple: to harass and ultimately kill the separatists. They beat their former friends mercilessly, breaking bones, opening massive wounds, and leaving the resultant cripples to die a slow and lingering death. When the raids were over, five males and one elderly female had been murdered. The separatist group had been destroyed; and its sexual active females and part of its territory had been annexed by the males of the band from the home turf." HOWARD BLOOM, THE LUCIFER PRINCIPLE: A SCIENTIFIC EXPLORATION INTO THE FORCES OF HISTORY