:Chloroform in Print
I want to go to the top of a really tall building, take a leak, finish, zip up, and then have my pee hit the ground. I want my entire pee to be airborne. Man I love beer.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Comics corrupt America's Youth! etc. etc.

 Just a little blood.
Good taste.

This comes from an article at Damn Interesting, which is highly recommended for killing time at work.

The Setting: 1954 Senate Subcommittee to Investigate Juvenile Delinquency

The Players:
  • William Gaines, publisher of Tales From The Crypt, MAD Magazine, and other Subversive Titles.

  • Senator Estes Kefauver, Morally Upright Legislator

The Scene:

KEFAUVER (holding up an especially gory EC Comic title): "This seems to be a man with a bloody ax holding a woman's head up, which has been severed from her body. Do you think that is in good taste?"

GAINES: "Yes sir, I do for the cover of a horror comic. A cover in bad taste might be defined as holding the head higher so that the blood could be seen dripping from it."

KEFAUVER: "You've got blood coming out of her mouth"

GAINES: "A little."

Monday, March 27, 2006
Dr. Feelbad
I sent an email to my doctor to let him know I needed to miss an appointment because I had come down with the stomach flu and was feeling nauseous. Here is his response:

"how about a nice, greasy, porkchop dipped in an ashtray?"

Maybe I should start paying my bills more promptly.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Davey Davey Eshenbaby

Do not blame me, I am simply following the orders bestowed upon me by Loki.

Thursday, March 23, 2006
Even the tinfoil helmet can't save you
Very interesting story about a virtual reality "hallucination machine" being used by Iowa cops to better understand their confrontations with the mentally ill.

"Things flash out of nowhere. Small voices saying, 'Go get your medication.' The bus driver is talking to you normally and all of a sudden he starts calling you 'Your Highness.' Then he becomes part of the hallucination," says Tieszen. "It's a whole busload of children, then it changes to a busload of adults. There's a nurse involved. You see normal things and then all of a sudden someone pulls up next to you and says, 'Get off the bus.' "
At one point, the driver picks up a microphone and talks to a dispatcher.
When he finishes he says, "They like to keep track of me."
Then a small voice tells the wearer: "They want to keep track of you."

I put the over/under on this machine being co-opted by drug enthusiasts at 30 days. You have to admit, it sounds pretty bitchin'.

Friday, March 10, 2006
Headlines of the Day
Today's edition: Animals in the News.

  • Laotian rodent takes scientists by surprise
  • Weasel-like marten found with bird flu

I would have rather seen
Laotian rodent takes scientists hostage; demands release of weasel-like marten with bird flu
but we take what we're given, and we like it.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Lemon Wacky Hello: the tea
I recently received a tin of green tea as a gift, which was purchased in China on a business trip. It's pretty decent tea, but after consuming several cups I started feeling a stranger in the head than usual. I'm more than a little suspicious that upon translation the name of the tea will turn out to be Lemon Wacky Hello. Beware Chinese food products.

Monday, March 06, 2006
Why I'm proud to be PNWed
Man Kills Cougar With Pocket Knife
From Northern Light, 2 August 2002

VICTORIA, British Columbia (AP) - A 61-year-old man was seriously slashed in a battle with a cougar in British Columbia, but managed to kill the animal with his pocket knife, officials said Friday.

The 100-pound cat leaped on Dave Parker from behind Thursday evening as he walked down a road a mile south of Port Alice, a village on Vancouver Island about 230 miles north of Victoria.

Conservation officer Ken Fujino said Parker was being mauled by the adult male but was able to reach his 3-inch knife. Port Alice Mayor Larry Pepper added Parker then slit its throat.

Despite extensive wounds, Parker managed to walk about a mile for help.

He underwent surgery Friday at Victoria's Royal Jubilee Hospital and was listed in stable condition, said spokeswoman Lianne Peterson.

Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer Jeff Flindall said police found Parker's knife next to the dead cougar.

I heart 1337
|>u|VX 4$$ |81+<# +|2y[) 2 $+3P 2 |\/|y 1N$4N3 $|<177% & 60+ PwnZ0rZ3D

Thursday, March 02, 2006
A post! Well, not really.
Damn work keeps interfering with my damn blogging schedule, dammit.

But I did finally get rid of the faggy template I'd been using for several months, so that should count for something.


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