:Chloroform in Print
I want to go to the top of a really tall building, take a leak, finish, zip up, and then have my pee hit the ground. I want my entire pee to be airborne. Man I love beer.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
My Wife Holds Eddie Vedder Responsible for Emo
And dammit, she's right. I never liked that little goblin of a man, and now I know exactly why.

Come to think of it, all of Pearl Jam ought to be dipped in boiling pitch, if you want my opinion. I hold them responsible for helping to drive a dagger into the heart of Old Seattle and the traditional PNW way of life. Nasty little grubbers, honoring the life and death of their spiritual leader, the magnificient freak Landrew the Love God, by hiring a motherfucking Californian to make their music more accessible to the mainstream, and thereby alerting personality-deficient poseurs from all around the country that Seattle was now sufficiently lame enough for them to come invade.

Eddie Vedder is the bastard love child of Eeyore and an Oompa-Loompa, and he should, as my friend Probst once famously wrote, be fed 10 hits of acid and then fucked to death by a musk ox. If you want my opinion.

Have a nice day.

Wow, that's pretty bitter and xenophobic. By the time PJ arrived, the Seattle scene had already seen the highwater mark and the inevitable decline into mass market crapitude was inevitable. Besides, how many people are actually from Washington anyway?
Besides, emo is older than PJ anyway.
Why, thank you. I take pride in my bitter xenophobia. I like to think I've elevated it to high art, but only on my better days. We Washington natives are a dying breed.

Perhaps I didn't state my position clearly enough (mostly because it would have interfered with my high-octane ranting). Eddie Vedder didn't invent emo, but he was a major force in popularizing it. This has nothing to do with mass market crapitude, but it has everything to do with how much I hate emo. And Eddie Vedder.
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I like brown liquor, strong beer, barbeque, and brunettes. Also, you suck.

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