:Chloroform in Print
I want to go to the top of a really tall building, take a leak, finish, zip up, and then have my pee hit the ground. I want my entire pee to be airborne. Man I love beer.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
The Chicken Vampire of Cloverdale
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Remember when I use to supply rooster blood to the B.C. hospitals in Vancouver for Rubella testing. Well I kept my chickens out on a farm near White Rock and after work I would drive out there and bleed out (exsanguinate) 6 -7 huge broiler breeder roosters (a good 15# each) I would develop a powerful hunger (mainly because it was about 7-8 o'clock at night when I finished and that was when we lived in Kitsilano in Vancouver.) So immediately following the big chicken bleed out and carrying these huge dead roosters in the front of my Karmann Ghia I would pull into Kentucky Fried in Cloverdale and order up a huge 9 piece box of KFC and devour the whole thing during the trip into the city. Ha!

If that wasn't bad enough, one night I got arrested for speeding! In the front seat was my Col. Sander's box of chicken with half eaten pieces and bones and soiled napkins lying all around all over the place. In the back seat was an open box of 10 big 250 ml bottles of chicken blood and in the trunk was the biggest pile of dead roosters you can imagine (could hardy get the hood down). So when the cop comes up to my car he sees that I've been chowing down and he starts lecturing me about the dangers of dining and driving at the same time and then suddenly he notices these bottles of red liquid in the back seat. Immediately suspicious but with hesitation he asks me what these are. I say "Rooster blood" and with that a look of frightened horror spreads over his face which turns into a countenance of total revulsion and terror. ....and right now he demands to know what I was going to do with it! He looked like he was getting ready to draw his service revolver!! At this point I'm sure he thought I was some sort of perverted avian satanic cult member that sacrificed chickens and used their blood to wash down KFC chicken and biscuits. Ha! I really thought my goose was cooked (so to speak) and I was praying he would not search my car to confirm his suspicions because if he would of discovered that big dead pile of blood-stained roosters I would of been in the Canadian equivalent of Steilacoom for life and definitely been prosecuted as Cloverdales only known Chicken Vampire in the Annals of Canadian Crime..............

This sounds like a pack of disgusting lies.
Believe it or not, it's 100% true. The author (not me) is one of those people that bizarre and inexplicable things happen to on a regular basis. Some people are like that.

I know another story about the same person that involved an El Camino with a blown tire careening out of control and ejecting large sacks of garbage from the bed every few seconds. Along the highway that runs parallel to the US/Canada border, no less, and witnessed by border patrol agents.

I can't make this shit up. Unfortunately.
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I like brown liquor, strong beer, barbeque, and brunettes. Also, you suck.

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