I found a scribbled note lurking at the bottom of one of my bags the other day. The handwriting was erratic and sloppy, which is a sure sign it's something I wrote while driving. It read:
[approaching a pickup from behind on the freeway]
"Hey mister! Is that your girlfriend or is it your dog?
driving near enough to get a good look into the cab:
"Hardy Har Har! It's your girlfriend and it's your dog!"
I like brown liquor, strong beer, barbeque, and brunettes. Also, you suck.